Mothers Day Weekend News Update
Happy Mother's Day to all you Mothers, Potential Mothers and those who are Practicing to become Mothers (Ill give you a moment). Here are some wild news stories and my commentary to make you laugh a little after all those fun-filled family trips back home, church visits and restaurant meals that will occur today, Enjoy!
BRAWL AT THE BSO
This week on Wednesday (May 9, 2007) Lead Conductor KeithLockhart had to stop conducting the Boston Pops Orchestra while the Security Guards... um er, I mean the Ushers broke up a fist fight in the stands... um er, balcony of the Boston Symphony Orchestra. The staff had to forcibly remove a shouting loud man with buttons popped off his shirt (Michael Hallam, 44 Bourne MA) from the balcony. Apparently, the loud talker had been told to "shush" several times and not only continued talking, but punched a man in the face (Matthew Ellenger, 27 Boston MA) after Ellinger reported Hallam to the BSO staff. At first I thought this was a local story that I would call home and tell my family about. But then it made CNN and various news stations in Germany and Russia. Jay Leno even joked about "really white on really white crime." This aint the Bruins game, Fool! Sit down and shut up!!! Some folk were raised in a barn ! ((shaking head))
GOV'MENT G-STRING
Last week (May 10th, 2007), NYS Assemblyman FelixOrtiz introduced a bill that would require New York strippers and strip clubs to be licensed by the State. The measure seeks to protect strip club workers by monitoring their age, immigration status and to prevent sex trafficking. The bill also seeks to collect taxes from the lapdance/tip money. The proposed law would require strippers to obtain an actual permit from the State?!?!! What would such a Permit be called? P*ssy Poppin Permit? Pop LockIt License? The Perculator Permission Slip? Would it be laminated with a photo on the top left? Where would the dancer keep his/her license? On a roach-clip attached to the G-String? And I want to wish New York State good luck in trying to collect taxes on that invisible tuition money...
THE LIGHTBRITE POSSE
The artists, Sean Stevens, 28, and Peter Berdovsky, 27, who were paid $300 each to plant the Aqua Teen Hunger Force LightBrites in Boston, Cambridge and Somerville, were acquitted on Friday (May 11th, 2007). After several hours of community service and a public apology before the Charlestown (MA) District Court, the charges were dropped. The judge held back his laughter while he heard the prepared written statements. Im glad this bullsh*t is over. The main two problems caused by the Light Brite Incident were traffic and hysteria, which were not caused by Stevens or Berdovsky. These problems were caused by 1. lack of an alternate route in or out of downtown Boston, 2. lack of preparedness among the BPD, and also 3. the complete and total lack of knowledge about anything that is going on outside of New England. The ATHF guerilla marketing had been going on for months in other cities before it reached Boston. Maybe had someone paid attention, we would have recognized the Light Brite BEFORE shutting down the entire City. No wonder this french fry box is giving us the finger!
ENJOY YOUR MOTHER'S (Grandmother, Auntie, Other Mother, Babysitter, Teacher, Counselor, StepMother) DAY WEEKEND!
