5 posts tagged “aqua teen hunger force”
Happy Mother's Day to all you Mothers, Potential Mothers and those who are Practicing to become Mothers (Ill give you a moment). Here are some wild news stories and my commentary to make you laugh a little after all those fun-filled family trips back home, church visits and restaurant meals that will occur today, Enjoy!
BRAWL AT THE BSO
This week on Wednesday (May 9, 2007) Lead Conductor KeithLockhart had to stop conducting the Boston Pops Orchestra while the Security Guards... um er, I mean the Ushers broke up a fist fight in the stands... um er, balcony of the Boston Symphony Orchestra. The staff had to forcibly remove a shouting loud man with buttons popped off his shirt (Michael Hallam, 44 Bourne MA) from the balcony. Apparently, the loud talker had been told to "shush" several times and not only continued talking, but punched a man in the face (Matthew Ellenger, 27 Boston MA) after Ellinger reported Hallam to the BSO staff. At first I thought this was a local story that I would call home and tell my family about. But then it made CNN and various news stations in Germany and Russia. Jay Leno even joked about "really white on really white crime." This aint the Bruins game, Fool! Sit down and shut up!!! Some folk were raised in a barn ! ((shaking head))
GOV'MENT G-STRING
Last week (May 10th, 2007), NYS Assemblyman FelixOrtiz introduced a bill that would require New York strippers and strip clubs to be licensed by the State. The measure seeks to protect strip club workers by monitoring their age, immigration status and to prevent sex trafficking. The bill also seeks to collect taxes from the lapdance/tip money. The proposed law would require strippers to obtain an actual permit from the State?!?!! What would such a Permit be called? P*ssy Poppin Permit? Pop LockIt License? The Perculator Permission Slip? Would it be laminated with a photo on the top left? Where would the dancer keep his/her license? On a roach-clip attached to the G-String? And I want to wish New York State good luck in trying to collect taxes on that invisible tuition money...
THE LIGHTBRITE POSSE
The artists, Sean Stevens, 28, and Peter Berdovsky, 27, who were paid $300 each to plant the Aqua Teen Hunger Force LightBrites in Boston, Cambridge and Somerville, were acquitted on Friday (May 11th, 2007). After several hours of community service and a public apology before the Charlestown (MA) District Court, the charges were dropped. The judge held back his laughter while he heard the prepared written statements. Im glad this bullsh*t is over. The main two problems caused by the Light Brite Incident were traffic and hysteria, which were not caused by Stevens or Berdovsky. These problems were caused by 1. lack of an alternate route in or out of downtown Boston, 2. lack of preparedness among the BPD, and also 3. the complete and total lack of knowledge about anything that is going on outside of New England. The ATHF guerilla marketing had been going on for months in other cities before it reached Boston. Maybe had someone paid attention, we would have recognized the Light Brite BEFORE shutting down the entire City. No wonder this french fry box is giving us the finger!
ENJOY YOUR MOTHER'S (Grandmother, Auntie, Other Mother, Babysitter, Teacher, Counselor, StepMother) DAY WEEKEND!
Condolences to the Family, Friends and Fans of Anna Nicole Smith. I feel so sorry for her baby daughter, who lost her mom and her big brother in less than a year. God Bless her.
Give it Up, Turn it Loose. Its been about a week since the LightBrite incident and a few days after the State of Massachusetts won a two million dollar settlement (see LightBritePressConference) but the City of Boston is still trying to get someone to pay. They found a guy who was in a minor car accident in Dorchester on the day of the LightBrite scare. His ambulance was delayed. He was on the news tonight, walking, talking and showing the newscaster his neck brace... which was lying on the kitchen table. He says his ambulance was delayed because of the Aqua Teen Light Boards. The Boston Police Commissioner want the two "artists" to pay for the delay of essential services (?!?!?)
Dude! You got hit in Dorchester! You cant catch a cab over there, let alone an ambulance! How about the never-ending construction on 93, the abundance of one way streets in Downtown Boston, the construction at Ashmont... THERE's your delay. Dont blame it on the french fry box! ((shaking head))
Astronauts gone wild. I just want to say, right here, right now: Aint enough d*ck in the world to make me drive NINE HUNDRED miles in a wig and a diaper to pepper spray another woman...
...then on the other hand, aint no d*ck in the world, that would make me take a bb shot or pepper spray to the face or get kidnapped. That male astronaut, Navy Cmdr. Bill Oefelein (below) is probably somewhere with his NASA buddies laughing at these two women over a cigar somewhere.
These are educated women, fighting like theyre contestants on Jerry Springer. Youve been to outer space! Now youre wearing a d*mn ankle bracelet! What also pisses me off are all the other women and people of color who were excluded in the past from the NASA program... and will be excluded in the future based on these new psychological screening tests they will probably implement. Lisa Marie Nowak, you really messed it up for everybody...
...aint that much d*ck in the world! ((shaking head, shrugging shoulders))
Joined a New Message Board Last Week. More folk over thirty, more folk with families raising their children, more people who live South of New Bedford, even some displaced Katrina suvivors... puts a whole new perspective on things. You mean to say there's a whole 'nother world outside of who's fat and who's fit and who's light skinned and who can juggle the most DL boyfriends in the span of a year, Niki? Why yes, and its SO refreshing!
My New Bizness. I will begin selling winter scarfs, baby blankets (crochet and quilts) and embroidered wedding linens. My website will be up by next week and I have a couple pieces pret-a-porter, for those of you who need a scarf or baby blanket right away. Im hoping to be ready with several baby blankets by August, when all the babies conceived during this cold spell will begin to show up inside their waddling Mommies. There is always a babyboom nine months after a snowstorm (or in NYC, nine months after a blackout). The last big snowstorm up here was January 2005.
I kicked myself repeatedly during the Summer of 2005. All those pregnant ladies teetering through Downtown Crossing, ready to buy baby stuff... and I didnt have ONE blanket to sell. Wont catch me out there this Summer. Im ready! LOL
This is an example of some of my work above (the scarf). This one is a wool blend, made with a popcorn stitch. In Upstate New York right now they have eight feet of snow with more on the way! This time next year they're gonna have to open fifty new daycare centers in Oswego County!!! LOL
Night Night!
Yesterday (2/5/07) the new Attorney General of Massachusetts, MarthaCoakley, held a press conference on the AquaTeenForce incident in Boston on January 31st.
Turner Broadcasting and Interference, Inc (the marking firm) settled out of court with the State of Massachusetts for about two million and a public apology. Half of the funds will go to the State for public education on public safety/ homeland security issues. The other half will be distributed proportionately between the three effected Cities/Towns (Boston, Cambridge and Somerville) based on amount of police services used on that day. She also indicated that the "LightBrite Boards" looked like advertisement at night, but during the day it looked like an incendiary device.
The AG went on to say, that we found out that this was, "much ado about nothing", due to a perceived threat. She reiterated that the fire and police force did exactly what they were supposed to do under the circumstances. But she also recognized that Turner Broadcasting had been more than generous under the circumstances, and had agreed to pay without dragging the issue on for years in a lawsuit.
She could not speak on the two guys who actually placed the signs because they were in the midst of their own lawsuit with their own attorneys, but this settlement will probably effect their cases. She also hoped that in this day and age that companies would rethink their advertising tactics, and plan different marketing based on different locales. She then introduced the mayors of the effected towns, Boston (Menino), Somerville (Curtatone) and Cambridge (Reeves).
Mayor Menino, who looked and sounded visibly shaken... probably angry, because Boston didnt get more money, came to the mic to praise the emergency response team. He called the advertising "Guerilla Tactics." I dont think it was a slip of the tongue.
Mayor Curtatone, who I couldnt pick out of a line-up (I live the next town over and I have literally never even seen a picture of him), also commented on the police response.
Brother Mayor Ken Reeves, reported that seven to nine little french fry men were found all over Cambridge on public landmarks, such as at Harvard Stadium, MIT and Technology Square, where a lot of biotech and scientific experimentation is conducted. He went on to say that this incident was a wake-up call. If two paid "artists" could get into these areas and place devices on these important landmark buildings, it would be rediculously easy for a t*rrorist to place harmful devices in the same places.
CHEZNIKI POV
Luuv-ded the AG in this press conference. Our new AG, the first female Attorney General of Massachusetts, appeared calm, competetent and in control of all of these frightened men. Also, she used her lawyering/ negotiation skills to simultaneously smooth over the hysteria and get a little money for the State. Would love to hear the back story on why Menino was so worked up and out of breath during that press conference, though.
The first device was found due to a call from someone on the subway, who allegedly saw the devise out the window of the Orange line. Yeah right! When is the last time you were able to see anything but dirt and scratch marks on a subway window on the T? I think one of the street team called it in... from their living room couch. This campaign happened in nine other cities. In NYC no one noticed the LightBrites, so when they got to Boston someone probably had to call, to get attention.
Turner Broadcasting can afford to drop 2Mil on Boston without batting an eye. Besides, they couldntve paid for better advertising had they planned it that way. Think about it. Id never heard of Aqua Teen Hunger Force until a week ago. Now folk all over the country will be Googling it, watching it... I even heard that the leftover LightBrite Boards are selling on Ebay.
The AG was right about one thing. Any company hoping to advertise in Boston, will have to alter their ads and do more background research. People here just think differently than... the rest of the world.
The police response was overkill. That horse has been out of the barn for five years, People! As a New Yorker living in Boston, I feel like its too late to inconvenience all of Eastern Mass everytime someone Downtown belches. They already let the WTC t*rrorists fly two planes out of Logan five years ago. Dont try to tighten up security now! With the regular racial profiling at Logan Airport, and Massport (the State Agency that runs the Airport) being run by a friend of the Governor, the t*rrorists knew exactly which airport to use back in 2001.
The State and Local police need to find out who is shooting up our youth in the hood, and who keeps burning young women to death in the outer towns, and how to keep the homeless indoors and alive during this cold snap. We have local fish to fry. We simply dont have time to chase french fry boxes.
...Peace
SouthBronx 11:30:31: Heard yall were scared by a LightBrite
WestEnd: ((Laughing)) Well that first one did look like a b*mb. Maybe someone stole the the little french fry man off the front. But after they noticed that the others were a promotion, they should have called off the dogs.
SouthBronx: Boston needs to understand, nobody wants to b*mb yall. They not thinking about Boston.
WestEnd: ((Laughing)) This ol lady on the grocery store bus on Wednesday was saying the same thing. She said, "If they wanted to get us, they woulda done it when they hit New York, I dont think theyre gonna bother with us." Did yall see the guys who did it down there?
SouthBronx: Yeah. White guy with dredlocks?
WestEnd: Yeah, theyre trying the charge them with disorderly conduct and some bogus "hoax device" charge.
SouthBronx: Hoax What?!?!?!
WestEnd: It one of those new post- 9/11 laws. Its against the law to plant a fake b*mb. They need to fine those guys for trespass or something and let them go.
SouthBronx: They said they did it in New York, but no one noticed.
WestEnd: Too much weird stuff already going on down there for anyone to notice a cartoon box of fries
SouthBronx: I was on the train yesterday with a guy wearing a leather homemade turban with a snake on it, dressed in all red with red boots and nobody noticed. We all just kept on riding the train. It would take more than a cartoon to make us notice.
WestEnd: TurnerBroadcasting came out and offered to cover the cost of the scare. Then Menino came out and said it cost several million. See? Why they tryina make Turner pay for the BigDig?!?!!
SouthBronx: Un Uhn! ((Both Laughing))
WestEnd 9:54:52 Suspicious package on 93 near sullivan. Orange line and hwy clsd. Package has wires and pipes hanging out! wtf?
WestEnd 10:01:53 Bomb squad just showd up.
WestEnd 10:05:06 They just detonatd it. Its okay.
SouthBronx 10:26:02 That's crazy
19:18:26 WestEnd: Hey!
HarlemWorld: Hey Niki!
WestEnd: Gurl, they had a bomb scare up here. Some fool put fake bombs up all over the city. Under bridges, on highways, at Fenway Park. They shut down the highway, the river, even I-93!
HarlemWorld: What?!?!
WestEnd: Yeah. They had the State Police out there, the Bomb Squad, all that.
HarlemWorld: Word?!?!?
WestEnd: But how about it was some promotion for a new cartoon on the Cartoon Network. Some adult cartoon called Aqua Velvet?, Aqua Teen?, Aqua Net?... Aqua Something.
HarlemWorld: Well dont they have to have a permit or something for that?
WestEnd: Exactly! They didnt. That sh*t tied up traffic for hours. And God forbid we had something really happen here...
HarlemWorld: ...the police would be over there with the fake bomb and miss a real crime somewhere else.
WestEnd: Yep. People still scared from 9/11. Well, they looking for somebody to arrest now...
22:14:55 WestEnd: ...They just showed footage from the press conference. They had the AG, the Mayor and the Police Commisioner on there. The Police Commissioner is urging people to complain against Turner Broadcasting and cancel their cable.
HarlemWorld: I know that's right.
WestEnd: I know what youre gonna say
HarlemWorld: What?!?!? ((laughing))
WestEnd: I need to come on outta here and move back home
HarlemWorld: UmHum
23:37:00 AP Writer Ken Maguire from Yahoo News
Several illuminated electronic devices planted at bridges and other spots in Boston threw a scare into the city Wednesday in what turned out to be a publicity campaign for a late-night cable cartoon. Most if not all of the devices depict a character giving the finger.
PeterBerdovsky, 27, of Arlington, was arrested on one felony charge of placing a hoax device and one charge of disorderly conduct, state Attorney General Martha Coakley said later Wednesday. He had been hired to place the devices, she said.
Highways, bridges and a section of the Charles River were shut down and bomb squads were sent in before authorities declared the devices were harmless.
Turner Broadcasting, a division of Time Warner Inc. and parent of Cartoon Network, later said the devices were part of a promotion for the TV show "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," a surreal series about a talking milkshake, a box of fries and a meatball.
Authorities are investigating whether Turner and any other companies should be criminally charged, Coakley said. It wasn't immediately clear Wednesday who might have hired Berdovsky...
